Kay Hilde
Jan 13, 2020
Updated: Sep 18, 2021
So, I was thinking since the start of 2020 I have had an overwhelming sense of immobilization. I describe it as feeling stuck, frozen, indecisive, or unmotivated.
Stuck, frozen, indecisive, or unmotivated wouldn’t serve us well on a resume, dating profile, or even our obituary. Instead they conjure up thoughts of laziness, having no purpose or direction, of being unimaginative, even ungrateful. From a very young age we’re taught to pack as much as we can into our day. We’re not only encouraged to always go, go, go but also given a measuring stick to determine if our go is up to other peoples’ standards. That measuring stick may be how much money you make, how many friends you know, what type of job, house, clothes, car, or toys you have. Or it may measure such things as how aligned, healed, altruistic, empathetic, or loving you are. We live in an awakening world and it’s not uncommon to feel disappointed in ourselves, not just on a physical or emotional level, but also on a spiritual one. Sheesh, that's a lot of measuring. No wonder we constantly feel we could do more.
Think of it. There’s an entire industry built to poke, prod, encourage, sometimes shame, and shake us out of our state of inactivity. Often, our inability to motivate is all inclusive and other times it's isolated to one subject, project, relationship, or goal and sometimes it's called procrastination (that word could really use a new publicist). Because inactivity isn't always undesirable. We also pay people to meditate us. Isn’t it ironic that we hire people to convince us to take action and then turn around and pay someone else to remind us how to be still?
I have people I interact with, projects I've started, books I try to read, movies I start to watch, laundry I manage, and daily meditations I do. I shower and brush my teeth, attend to my freelance work, show up and enjoy my part time job, I cook, I eat, say Happy Birthday to my friends on social media, spend some time in the company of friends and family, and I put away my Christmas tree. But inside I feel suspended. Stuck.
I’m no stranger to anxiety and depression and I believe strongly in utilizing every resource I can to stay emotionally healthy. If you feel unsafe, suicidal, or unable to find comfort, joy, or purpose I lovingly suggest you reach out to a mental health professional, doctor, trusted friend, or family member. There’s no shame in asking for help - I do it all the time! Honestly, this recent period of inactivity was triggering some old anxiety/guilt until I received the message:
It clearly didn’t come through as you’re stuck in neutral or you’re waiting in neutral, it was you’re resting in neutral. You feel the difference, right? To some, neutral may seem uncommitted, undecided, apathetic, uninterested, or without direction. But let's try on a different perspective.
Quantum mechanics states that all possibilities exist at the same time and it’s not until you take measurement (observation or action) that a particular outcome will occur. Think of it like tossing a coin: while the coin is in the air it has the possibility of landing either heads or tails - it’s in a space of all possibilities. At those now moments that the coin is flipping through the air the possibilities are endless. Sure there's a chance it will land on either side, but there's also the possibility a stranger will snatch it before it does, or why not a dragon?? I mean it is the space of ALL possibilities, right?
I believe we each are occasionally called to Rest in Neutral as a way of calming and re-calibrating our physical nervous system, emotional pipeline, and spiritual compass. I believe it’s in a state of neutral that we can best shift to our next most aligned state of being. It’s not about hurrying to choose the perfect possibility under pressure and grinding our gears in frustration. Instead, we allow the current most aligned possibility the space it needs to present itself, and when it does, we can shift from neutral to inspired action.
We haven't been taught how to wait with unknown purpose or even recognize what a call to inspired action feels like. In my experience, an inspired idea or desire to do something will suddenly feel right, even exciting, often unexpected, and it never feels like “work”.
So, the next time you find yourself feeling stuck, apathetic, or inadvertently hitting the pause button, I invite you to see how this affirmation feels: “I’m resting in neutral and anticipate shifting to the perfect possibility very soon.”
Have you felt stuck lately? I invite you to
consider you're resting in the Space of All
Possibilities! And please, let me know if
you can feel the shift in perspective and
possibilities!
~ Kay